Friday, February 26, 2010

Product Label for Master Teachers

Active Ingredients
Knowledge 10%
Desire 20%
Experience 30%
Love 40%

Uses for the meaningful relief of teenage pain due to:
Depression/anxiety
Family strain
Physical and mental disabilities
Relationship difficulties
Low sel-esteem
Identity crises
Hormone imbalances
Past experiences
Unmet goals
Unfulfilled potential

Warnings
When using this product avoid laziness and sloth. If conditions do occur, refine and change repeatedly until the effects of such adjectives no longer persist. Stop and ask for help if condition worsens. Keep within reach of all children, teenagers, and adults.

Directions
Take only as prescribed by a competent academic professional. Any misuse or abuse of product may result in a teacher’s tears, fears, worries, stress, frustrations, depressions and insomnia. If any of these problems persist for longer than 3 days, consult with the product privately. Ask your doctor if you have allergies to hard work, optimism, honesty, or hope.

This product is determined by effectiveness, not by weight, size, color, or gender.

Product may contain trace amounts of peanuts.

4 comments:

lalo said...

I kind of love this!

Melissa said...

tadd. if anyone is going to be a great teacher, it is you! not to mention that you are an amazing writer. we miss you. come visit sometime. oh wait, you are probably really busy. we'll come visit you.

Alyson said...

Trace of peanuts huh? How is the teaching going anyway? Need a vacation?

Jimmy, James, Jim said...

You left out an ingredient. A master teacher also usually contains a trace amount (or perhaps a fair amount more) of BS. I've heard it said before that a key to teaching is making students believe that you've known your whole life what you just learned that morning.