I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to realize that there’s not much sport in the sports I watch. It has gotten to the point that every sport I go to is almost the sideshow to some other kind of gimmick. Who decided that we needed entertainment for our entertainment? Let me explain with a couple of examples.
My BYU football tickets aren’t anything to brag about. Sixth row doesn’t sound half bad but it is when your stuck in the end zone. If that isn’t bad enough, imagine trying to watch an entire football game through a pyramid of cheerleaders! Isn’t it exciting enough just to be at the football game? I almost dread timeouts because it means that I will be exposed to the latest and newest cheerleading stunt involving twists, flips, and flops that I don’t want to even consider. Do they really think that we need to be exposed to constant recreational stimulus for the entire 3+ hour game? Who am I, some kind of ADHD Mt. Dew addict who always needs to fill my caffeine fix? Can I have a timeout please?
I believe in the golden rule. You sweet-spirited cheerleaders, how would you feel if we invited the football team to hold a scrimmage on the sideline during a cheer competition? Cheer your guts out, but could you stay down in front?
My experience at the last Real Salt Lake game showed me that distractions at sporting events are not only caused by cheerleaders. During part of the game, some RSL people starting throwing stuff into the crowd. I reacted like a typical 4 year old as I reached to catch a ball that was coming my way. As I caught the ball, the entire stadium erupted in cheers and I knew immediately that the cheering wasn’t for me (even though it was a good catch). RSL just dropped a goal in the back of the net and I missed it because I was busy trying to catch a stupid hacky sack that even the sweatshop workers in India wouldn’t claim.
Why is free stuff so popular at games anyways? Did you ever go to a game because you’re sick of your summer wardrobe and you thought you needed a new shirt? And what about you who scavenger the underside of the bleachers looking for that cubic zirconia coupon? Was that on the wedding preparation to do list? Why is it that they can throw stuff into the crowd but anyone who throws anything back is escorted away by the police?
The more cheers I hear from the cheerleaders and the shirts tossed out, the more appealing baseball is becoming. By they way, I just posted a really cool soccer hacky sack on ebay so let the bidding begin!
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I'm embarrassed to tell you that I missed Cayden's last goal in soccer for this part of the season because I was chatting with a friend at the game. My biggest problem is missing parts of the game because I'm being social. I'll remember not to try to distract you if I ever attend a sports event with you!!! This isn't the case at BYU games. Our tickets are high enough up that I'm not distracted, even by myself. I did, however, feel under my seat for a diamond! The shame!
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